?Tuesday, October 23, 2007
We will always be together no matter what, right?
So when you told me that you was in a fight,
You lied to me to keep me safe but in the end,
I died trying to protect you.
Remember this, that no matter who you love,
Or how many times you say you love me,
Many tears will dry themselves just for you,
I,will always be with you.
Through the good times and the bad,
You will see me standing there,
Helping you along the way with gentle touches,
I gave up my life of suffering for you.
You always told me to be strong and proud,
I’m happy to have you as a friend,
But in the end no matter how hard you try,
Everything will come to an end.
My disease, my cause, my life, my band,
Will fade into nothingness,
But in my heart you will touch my lips softly,
As you whispered goodbye at the hospital.
I’m in a deep sleep, one from which I will never wake,
But in my words of wisdom, you leave with a tear in your eye.
Mikey will look after you, the same way I did,
But he will live, but suffer from the heartache you suffered today.
Remember all the times we had, laughing at cancer and having fun?
Well, you will be able to carry on, but me on the other hand
Well, now I’m going to say goodbye with the touch of your lips,
A kiss that will be mine forever, I suffered enough…goodbye
I close my eyes and I see your tear silently fall on my hand,
The tear that said you loved me,
Goodbye everyone but do me a favour,
Tell him I’ll always be with him.
?Monday, October 22, 2007
SLEEPYYYYYYYYY
I NEED SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Must have broken some record for sneaking out at night to condition and missing my sleeppppppp....
I know sneaking out = rebel
But hey,i was
born to rebelAt least it's better than lying in bed and thinking....
Because that's when my thoughts run wild...
So,clever me decides to put the time to good use....
But then misses out on essential shut-eye,
and goes all blur and groggy and crazy in the morning....
Not to mention super hyperactive....
Maybe i have ADHD??
Planning to go rollerblading with the gang...
But dunno that sonofabitch allow or not...
Or should i say son of my beach?
anyways.....
traning at night terok la....
don't know what you will see...
then my house there got one bloody frog at night always croak one...
like 'orck,orck'
weird right?
then so loud somemore...
stay 8 floors above also can hear.....
then that stupid longkang stretch...
always have eerie shadows one...
althought i know is people walk la...
but you never know...
that sonofabitch scold....
gonna get some sleep and then go train when he sleep.
fuck you.
♥
elected the rejected
?Was at
?Friday, October 19, 2007
Everybody's screaming.
I try to make a sound but no one hears me.
I'm slipping off the edge.
I'm hanging by a thread.
I wanna start this over again.
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered.
I can't explain what happened.
And I can't erase the things that I've done.
I think I'm losing it.
I'm breaking.
I have to get a grip.
♥
elected the rejected
?Was at
?Thursday, October 18, 2007
I've tried to be a different person,and got hurt.
BADLYI tried to be daring.
To break out of the shell I was encased in.
And all it did was to bite me back.
HARDI tried to be strong,but I still broke.
SHATTEREDSo I'm leaving the present behind and escaping into the past.
Where worries were non-existent.
INVISIBLEAnd I hope I made the right choice.
Because if I didn't,I don't know what will happen.
My life now is so dead,it makes dying glorious.
I won't go into the details.
But I'll carry on.
Even thought I'm broken or defeated.
You can try.
I don't think i'll ever break again.
♥
elected the rejected
?Was at
?Sunday, October 14, 2007
It never used to hurt this bad. I’ve done it so many times. I’d simply cut along the guidelines I made last time, it was no big deal. But now, now I’m on my way to the hospital, my eyes are shut tightly. My hands grip the sides of my head, and I’m screaming. No sound emerges from my lips. I rock back and forth, fingernails scratching at my scalp. I scream, I cry out at the top of my lungs, but no sound ever echoes through the ambulance.
Everyone had tried to get me to stay on the stretcher but I had kicked and screamed. They didn’t dare mess with me, I’d had a knife then. I settled yourself in the corner of the ambulance, staying quiet for a few minutes as I hugged myself tightly.
I didn’t understand it, why it hurts so much more this time. It hurts, I can barely breathe, and I don’t know why, it confuses I, but I want to do it again and again-
It hits me, it hits me so hard I fucking sob and make everyone in the ambulance look at me. I close your eyes tighter, tears stream down my face. I realize now,
I know why it hurt so badly. Mari.... Maria... I thought you said… He’d caught me before, I’d seen his face before, but this time… He looked so hurt, so broken, it tore me apart. It was his face, his reaction to me cutting my arm open again… It brought me crashing. I don’t want to see his face ever again, I can’t look at him, not like this, not in this state. I don’t want to see the shame, I don’t want to see the hurt on his face.
When I finally look up, I realize I’m at the hospital, and I’ve probably been there for hours. But no one dared move me, tell me, try to wake me from my nightmare. Everyone in the ambulance is watching me, almost scared, but all I do is scream again. I don’t hear any sound ,any echo, and it scares me, it creeps the fuck out of me, so I run. I jump from the back of the ambulance, towards the hospital, because maybe I can die there, maybe I’ll die in the hospital and I’ll never have to look at him again…
I run into something warm and soft, but before I can move anywhere, a pair of arms wrap protectively around my shoulders and that’s it. I know it’s him, but I can’t look up. I know it’s him, I collapse in his arms and sob. I know it’s him, and I’ve never been happier.
♥
elected the rejected
?Was at
?Friday, October 12, 2007
NCC!!!!
I BLOODY WANT MY MATHS TRAIL TROPHY!!!!!
YOU STEAL IT VERY DEPRESSING OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT IT BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
♥
elected the rejected
?Was at
