?confessions of an emokid [:

?Thursday, October 30, 2008

Testing.
Trying to cross-post to Blogger from Multiply.
(:

♥
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?Thursday, October 23, 2008

Due to random-ness, I'm really tempted to start a mini-series about going [insert stereotype here].
But I'm not to keen on being flamed.
So idk.
But it sounds really fun.
And it will give me materials to research on.
[Meaning stereotypes]
For example;
[stereotype and sub-stereotype]
[I don't have a really good memory,so this is what I remember off-handedly.]
[And honestly, I don't really wanna elaborate.]

Emo
-scene
-br00tal
Goth
-industrial
-betty paige
-club
-cyber
-hot topic
-metal
-raver
-s&m
-torrid
-trench coat
-romantic
Punk
-streetpunk
-hardcore [hXc]
-anarcho-punk
-crust
-riotgrrl
Prep
Chav
Raver
Psychobilly
Jock
Nerd
Geek

[I'll re-edit it and finish the thing in awhile. I need to do something.]
Again,
Tag kay?

♥
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Here are the pictures I promised Nabilah and Masyitah.
Sec2 LastDayOfSchool Pictures

[Please ignore my fugly-ass pictures. I know I look like crap.]

Sec3 NationalDay Pictures
[Oh the retardedness of us]

I miss my emo hair.
):
Stupid faux-hawk turned helmet hair.
*growls*

Sec3 LastDayOfSchool Pictures
[Again,please ignore me. I look totally RETARDED.]

Lols at ^.
Cause I kinda warned Nabilah about my too-short hands.
HAHAHAHA!!
[And EW! to my helmet hair.
xP
I'm definitely growing it out!]

^
Goddammit!
I was blinking!
And apparently Nabilah's phone camera had to take the picture at that very second.
ARGH!

And apparently,the ONLY time in these pictures I didn't have visible zits was during our National Day camwhore-in-the-bus time.
Goddamn all those blasted zits.
I totally need to get concealer.

Which reminds me.
I have to organize my make-up kit.
And pack make-up to bring to KL.
woots~
I need to get more of my favourite lemon-scented wet tissues.
And 2 more blending brushes.
And a new eyebrow razor.
And FOUNDATION!!

So my list of make-up to bring to KL would prolly be:
+ red/darkbrown/black eyeliner
+ wet tissues
+ concealer and acne thingy [the t-zone one]
+ eyebrow razor
+ foundation
(:
Do tag kay?

♥
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?Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Winnie got me to do this.
So freaking true.
*shivers*

What Mardhiyah Means

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.

You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.

You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic “Type A” personality.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.

You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.

You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.

You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.

People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.

Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.

Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.

You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.

You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

And this.
ARGH.

You Are 100% Boyish and 0% Girlish

You have a tough exterior - and usually a tough interior to match it.

You're no nonsense, logical, and very assertive.

Sometimes you can't understand women at all, even if you're a woman yourself.

You see things rationally, and don't like to let your emotions get the best of you.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

And this.
(:

You Are a Total Brainiac

You're amazingly brilliant. Some would even say genius.

You're curious, thoughtful, analytical, and confident.

You take on difficult subjects because you want to... not because you have to.

No field of knowledge is too complicated or intimidating for you.

You've got the brains to do anything you want.

It's possible you end up doing everything you want.

Are You a Brainiac?

♥
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?Saturday, October 18, 2008

Sigh.
Damned Mozilla is going crazy on me.
Anyways.
I was thinking of dyeing my hair burgundy.
Even though my mummy has already gotten me medium brown.
Hrm.
Idk.
I thought of mixing colours at one go,
but the idiot Revlon website says that Coloursilk dyes are not meant to be mixed.
):
Or should I get burgundy and throw it on my head,
then dump the medium brown on top of it?
I wanna get it done before the bridging programme and I don't want Mrs Lee or whoever else to yell at me.
So yeah.
But I still want some burgundy&&light-ish brown.
Or should I use medium brown and then dump some semi-permanent-ish purple that that store at tmart has?
[oh wait,that's permanent, isn't it?]
Anyway.
I have no idea and I need some help.
SO HELP!

And btw.
I WANNA GO TO THE A7X concert!
Gahhs.
I already have connections and the tix itself.
[Thanks to Winnie.]
But I have a problem with my parentals.

♥
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?Wednesday, October 15, 2008

DAMN YOU EXAMS!!
I can't freaking believe that I failed 4 subjects!
Gahhs.
It's:
Mathematics
Malay
POA
Comb. Science
This sucks.
And then there's the possibility of me being retained next year.
I mean,
WAYY TO GO,DIDI.

I would like to thank Laura and Yinqi for their belated birthday presents today.
I got a notebook and a coin sorting piggy-bankish from those people above respectively.
(:
THANKS!
And ya,
sorry Khai..
I lost your present..
):
I don't know where I placed it.
I'll try to find it.
xD

And I have a new BFF.
NAZRI!!!!!!!
Ahaha..
Either that,
or the abang/adeq angkat thingy.
And I already have lots of abangs.
6, to be exact.
Taufiq
Danny
Khaii
[not to be confused with khairil (khai)]
Sha
Nathan
Irwan
[1asshole]
Hehs.
Yeah.
I know.
And I have to go because some ANNOYING person is pestering me for the use of the computer.
[AND IT WAS ME WHO ASKED FOR USE IN THE FIRST DAMN PLACE KAY!!]
But as usual,
I have nothing to say.
Because I have to..
GRR>
Makes me frustrated.
So I'll just stop here and let that ANNOYING PERSON use it.
WHICH IS NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SERIOUSLY,
BIASNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

♥
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?Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I feel wayy bleargh.
First thing in the morning,
puked a wonderful array of red&blue stuff + macaroni&sushi bits.
Absolutely wonderful.
[It was meant to be sacarstic.]
And now I can't even touch food.
It makes me nauseous.
):
And I feel shitty.
I do realize I'm getting hungry,
but I'd rather stay hungry than risk puking again.

Yesterday was FUN!
Jalan raya e1&e2!
The only suck-ish things were Aliyah&me getting left behind cause we went to the toilet, and me having a "red alert" in the middle of it when I was unprepared!
[BTW, many thanks to Suliana for the "emergency" help (:]
I left at around 7/8?
And took 21 to Taufiq's house, where everyone was chillin'.
Got home at around 10+.
The only suck-ish part was that FIZZY was invited.
Whose idea was it anyway?!
And haha.
Many of them kept "losing" me.
As in,
due to my small-ness,
they would keep "losing" me and will always ask where I was.
Kinda hard to explain,
but quite funny.
Hehs.

Wokay.
Now I'm off to Winnie's house.
I hope 168 comes quickly.
{:
I'll leave you all alone and maybe update a little when I'm there.
Bye~

A.N: ILY WINNE!
A.N: ILY TAUFIQ AND KHAII AND DANNY, KESEMUANYA ABANGKU YANG TERSAYANG!
[Muacks!]

♥
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?Sunday, October 12, 2008

Standing Here

My entire world far beneath
my feet, I should be filled
with pride. Instead, I feel
overwhelmed by a sense of defeat.

Suddenly it comes to me,
toes tempted to test thhe ledge,
that there is a way out of this.
Calm surety flows through

my veins, and as I turn to wave
good-bye, I wonder if it will
hurt or if a single person
will cry at my funeral.

I take a deep breath, a final
taste of sweet mountain air.
I conjure Leona, Emily.
Move my feet closer. Closer.

There's Grandma One, Grandma
Two, and their spouses, waiting
for me. I see Dad. Cara. Mommy.
I screw up my courage, step over...
- Conner in "Impulse" by Ellen Hopkins

Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to kill yourself.
To be free of your misery.
To swallow one more pill,
to cut a little deeper,
to put the gun to your chest,
to attempt to fly.
I wonder,
what it would be like,
to finally experience peace,
to be happy for once.

♥
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?Friday, October 10, 2008

I DIDN'T GET MY ROCK MUSE!!
[Well,I meant Miss Sixty Rock Muse,in case you were wondering.]
)):
Instead,I got this rad [guy] perfume.
But it still smells nice anyway.
((:

I'm getting tired of my hair.
And it's taking a realllyyy looong time to grow out.
MAN!
I wonder what possessed me to cut off my hair into this "fugly lameass fauxhawk".
I REGRET IT!
And now my hair looks all yucky and dried-up shit.
Many thanks to Gatsby Wax [pink].
I used it to "flatten" my hair and voila,
instantly damaged.
And I used to have smooth and shiny hair..
TT
Gahhs..
I think that stupid shampoo from Sunsilk,
the "Straight & Sleek" one,
is drying out my hair.
I'm using my brother's one first,
the Johnson's Kid Blueberry Blast.
It smells nice!
Like blueberries..
xD

And I think maybe my dad's gonna get me a new phone. YAY!
I want a Walkman phone..
The..
Hrmm..
Something thin..
The..
W380i.
I think..
That phone is cool..
It kinda tops my list.
xD
Then..
The W980..
That shit looks cool too..
Or maybe a K800i..
Hrm..
But I think my first choice will still be the W380i.
xD
Idk.
All those shit looked cool.
Hehs. I'll see.

♥
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?Thursday, October 09, 2008

[EDITED]
I was thinking of getting this:

Since my hair looks fried.
And my fringe is uncooperative.
Au contraire,
it IS healthy.
IDK..
But chopping my fringe off seems to work the best.
Since it's fried-looking.
):
I'll see what my parents say.

My dad said:
"EH!! You nak potong rambut gini? Macam jantan buka, macam pompan bukan. You jangan merapek. Kalau gini pun I tau potong. Amek gunting potong macam anjing gigit dah boleh."
[Literal translation in broken English: EH!! YOu want to cut this kind of hair? Not like male, not like female. You don't bullshit. If like that I also know how to cut. Take scissors and cut like dog bite your hair can.]
Meaning: Once again, he thinks that the hairstyle I chose looks like crap and he says it sucks.
And i was thinking,
" BUT MY HAIR LOOKS FRIED!! AND MY FRINGE IS YUCKY!!"
Of course I didn't say that out loud.
But of course I know what my parents are thinking.

Then my dad asked me a super random question about what I wanted for my birthday as I was biting into a large, juicy steak. So I shook my head and said I didn't want anything. Then I interjected and said that I would like a book.
Specifically speaking, this book titled something like "The Daring Book for Girls".
Something like that.
Then he asked, you don't want anything else, like handphone or PSP?
[To be continued later]

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Liebe bedeutet, sich an jemanden so schwer wie möglich, denn wenn Sie das nicht tun, ein blinken und sie könnten für immer verschwinden.

*Summons fake enthusiasm*
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME,HAPPY BITHDAY TO MEE.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEE.. HAPPY BITHDAY TO ME..

Sigh.
Anyone who says birthdays are happy deserves to be conked on the head.
Because I definitely am not.
No presents..
No cake..
No birthday sms from Winnie.
Only memories of a huge argument.
And to top it all off,
I'm spending it alone.
This has to be the BEST FUCKING BIRTHDAY ever.
Hehs..
I just checked my blog for spam..
And I realized that almost all of the guys spammed my taggie with birthday wishes..
AWW..
*melts*
Thanks guys!
TAUFIQ, SHA, DANNY, KHAII, NATHAN, 1ASSHOLE.
And thanks to:
Mama& Papa, Laura, Nabilah, Aaron, Fadillah, Yilin, Khairil&hisgirl, Gretchen, Aliyah, Yinqi, Naz, Amy, JY and Nat for wishing me happy birthday today.
(:
Sigh.
Still nothing from the party at fault.
I guess I'll just grab my markers and doodle within my "emo circle" then.
~tata

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?Tuesday, October 07, 2008

The blindfold has been put back on the leader,
and now,
it's the blind leading the seeing.

Ooh..
I was looking through ThinkGeek and I found some very interesting stuff.
For example,
I would like:
[the ones with a ** are the ones I want NOW]
[the ones with a *** are the ones I'm super desperate to get]
***+Spazzstick Caffeinated Lip Balm in Vanilla Toffee AND Cool Mint.
***+Digital Message Tape
+Desktop Fantasy Skulls
+6" Domo Plush
[DOMO!!]
+Nightmare Before X-mas Penlights
+Tengu
+Sun and Moon Jars
**+Interchangeable Ring Kits
+Bone Chiller Ice Trays
***+Crackheads
**+Despair, Inc. Bittersweets
***+Javapops

For those who read this and actually get me something off ThinkGeek,
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO THANK YOU ALL ENOUGH.
[But knowing you all,I rest my case.]

♥
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?Monday, October 06, 2008

My left ankle is doing a very weird and unnatural cracking noise.
EEK!
I wonder what happened to it..
..
...
....
Okay!
I remember!
I kinda banged my knee on..
Something while I was skateboarding.
[Kay fine,cruising.]
[KAY FINE,learning how to skate properly!]
[Happy?!]

Winnie just asked me for the definition of BDSM,
and I was like, "HELLO?!! WE'RE IN A PUBLIC PLACE!!"
Then he was like, "Why public place cannot tell me the definition?"
And I swatted his head and whispered, "It's got something to do with bondage lar."
Then he nodded knowingly.
Ass.
[For those interested, Google or ask me (: ]
Hees..

Just now Malay listening comprehension, there were these 2 questions on Harajuku.
Actually I just saw the word "Harajuku" and thought, " I KNOW THIS!!!!"
Then I proceeded to do the questions,
which were a piece of cake since I've already researched Harajuku.
And I waited for the passage to come on and I listened intently.
And guess what?
I WAS TOTALLY RIGHT!!
Hees..
I'm sorry if I'm hyper today.
Yesteday my relatives went home at 4am and I still haven;t got enough sleep due to hanging out with Winnie.
Add a sugar high, and you'll know what I mean.

Okay.
I have to go.
My grandmother's yelling for me to eat.
So till then,
tata~
[And don't forget to tag!]

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