?confessions of an emokid [:
?STUDIO

I'M AN EMOKID. PEOPLE HATE ME.
? EITHER LOVE ME OR HATE ME ?.
? WILL YOU BE THE NEXT ONE TO HATE ME ?

?EMOKIDDO

My name is DIDI. Or you can call me Mardhiyah.
I'm currently 16 [2009] and I'm still as short as ever.
I'm currently in love with my darling guitar, eventhough it's not a Goth Thunderbird.
Status: SINGLE / ATTACHED

?CRAVES
& ESP KH-2 Vintage [ESP SIGNATURE SERIES: KIRK HAMMETT]
& Miss Sixty Rock Muse EDP
& Anything from the MCR Store
& Contact Lenses
& Plaid Skinnies
& At least C6 for Maths
& FLAMETHROWERR
& A new notebook

?LOVES
& JAVA CHIP FRAPPE
& The ASS&&CO gang
- Nabilah!
- Masyitah!
- Laura!
& My band [:
& Budak Slackers
& Sushi [:
& HIM

?DETESTS
& COCKROACHES && SPIDERS
& I hate the feeling that I've been screwed over.

?TUNEIN


MusicPlaylist
MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com

?HEARSAYS

?PLURKY
?Friday, July 31, 2009

I'm bored .
So here are the attack of random thingsys .

Bold/X What You've Had In The Past Week.

LIQUIDS:
[x] water (1 point)
[ ] orange juice (1 point)
[ ] skim milk (1 point)
[ ] 2% milk (2 points)
[ ] soda (3 points)
[ ] diet soda (1 point)
[x] beer (5 points)
[ ] champagne (5 points)
[ ] any other alcohol (5 points)
[ ] V8 (1 point)
[ ] tea (1 point)
[ ] Grape Drink (2 points)
[ ] cranberry juice (2 points)
[ ] apple juice (2 points)
[ ] capri sun (3 points)
[ ] hi-c (3 points)
[ ] Kool Aid (3 points)
[ ] chocolate milk (4 points)
[ ] strawberry milk (4 points)
[x] coffee (2 points)
Total for this category: 8

SOLID FOODS:
[ ] pizza (3 points)
[ ] Tacos (2 points)
[ ] Burritos (2 points)
[x] Rice (1 point)
[ ] beans (1 point)
[ ] Hamburger (3 points)
[ ] Veggie burger (1 point)
[ ] Fries (4 points)
[ ] ham (2 points)
[ ] Lamb (2 points)
[] hot dog (3 points)
[x] chicken (2 points)
[] turkey (2 points)
[ ] beef (2 points)
[ ] fish (1 point)
[x] spaghetti (2 point)
[ ] fettuccini (2 point)
[ ] Mac & Cheese (3 points)
[ ] Steak (2 points)
[ ] shrimp (1 point)
[ ] lobster (2 points)
[ ] crab (2 points)
[x] sushi (2 points)
[ ] pork (2 points)
[ ] lettuce (1 point)
[ ] eggs (2 points)
[ ] bacon (4 points)
[ ] baked potato (2 points)
[ ] sausage (5 points)
[ ] pancakes (3 points)
[ ] French Toast (3 points)
[ ] Freedom Toast (10 points)
Total for this category: 7

FAST FOODS:
[ ] McDonald's (10 points)
[ ] Burger King (10 points)
[ ] Wendy's (10 points)
[x] Kentucky Fried Chicken (10 points)
[ ] Taco Bell (9 points)
[ ] Harvey's (8 points)
[ ] Hardee's (8 points)
[ ] Pizza Hut (7 points)
[ ] Popeye's Chicken (7 points)
[ ] Arby's (7 points)
[ ] Swiss Chalet (5 points)
[ ] Any Steak House (5 points)
[ ] Denny's (5 points)
[ ] Subway (3 points)
Total for this category: 10

SNACKS:
[ ] Potato Chips (4 points)
[ ] baked Potato Chips (2 points)
[ ] Doritos (5 points)
[ ] Pringles (5 points)
[ ] rice/soy cakes (2 points)
[ ] chocolate cake (7 Points)
[ ] vanilla cake (7 points)
[ ] other kind of cake (7 points)
[ ] bananas (1 point)
[ ] strawberries (1 point)
[ ] grapes (1 point)
[ ] apples (1 point)
[ ] Oranges (1 point)
[ ] mango (1 point)
[ ] pineapple (1 point)
[ ] peach (1 point)
[ ] kiwi (1 point)
[ ] Fruit cups (3 points)
[ ] popsicles (4 points)
[ ] Ice cream (7 points)
[ ] cookies (5 points)
[ ] snack cakes (4 points)
[ ] popcorn (1 point)
[ ] crackers (2 points)
[ ] tiggers (2 points)
[ ] marshmallows (5 points)
[ ] poptarts (4 points)
[ ] peanut butter (4 points)
[ ] jelly (3 points)
[ ] peanuts (2 point)
[x] sunflower seeds (2 points)
[ ] any other kind of nuts (2 points)
[ ] pudding (4 points)
[ ] cheesecake (7 points)
[ ] hersheys chocolate (5 points)
[x] granola bar (4 points)
[ ] Good cereal like raisin bran/special K (2 points)
[ ] Bad cereal like Coco Puffs/Lucky Charms (6 points)
Total for this category: 6

Liquids: 8
Solids: 7
Fast Foods: 10
Snacks: 6
Grand Total: 31 .


Now for the Scale:
Under 25: You have a serious problem with a lack of food, possible eating disorder. Seek help

Under 45: A level that requires attention, you need to make time to eat cause you're not doing yourself any favors.

Between 45 and 85: This is what I will consider a good, balanced and well taken diet. If you're in here, you have a displined diet and are serious about what you put into your body.


Between 85 and 115: If you're in this category, I call you the fun loving food type. You love to eat, but eat only when you want to and are capable of keeping a grip on things and not overdo it. This is what I would call the middle ground. Not too strict, but not too free.

Between 115 and 145: This isn't bad, but it's no where near good either, but you're getting close to having a bad problem with fatty foods... especially fast foods.

Over 145: I really think the only way you can top this is to eat a lot if not most of the fast foods. This means you are a fatty and need to cut out the greasy foods

Over 170: The opposite of the lowest scale... seek help.

Let's Start With Some Random Questions
Is your mirror clean?: Jyeah .
Do use tissues or a handkerchief?: Tissues .
Is anything wrong with your eyes?: Yes , myopic .
When is that last time you weighed yourself?: Few weeks ago ?
Do you wear eyeliner?: Jyeahh .
Are you chronically bored?: YEAH !
Weapon of choice?: Werds .
Do you throw your candy wrappers away?: Yes .
Are you a litterbug?: No LOL .
Do you like poison?: IDK , never tried it .
Last time you went to the beach?: June hols ?
Your MSN/AIM/YIM Screen name?:
Di Spitzack .
Story behind your default?: Baby picture .
Is your Myspace song your favorite song?: No .

Let's Talk Tears
Last time you cried?: I forgot .
Reason you last cried?: I felt really hurt .
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?: jyeah .
Have you ever cried over the opposite sex?: Maybe ?
Who makes you cry most often?: A person .
Do you cry when you're happy?: No .
Do you cry when you get an injury?: NO ._.
Do you cry when you are scared?: So far , not yet .
Has your best friend/boyfriend/girlfriend ever made you cry?:
Jyeah .
Have you ever cried during a movie?: Jyeah .
Do certain songs make you cry?: Just teary , will not really cry .
Are you crying right now?: LOL no .

This or That
Mozzerella or Cheddar?: Mozzarella .
Spaghetti or Macaroni?: Either .
Shrimp or Crab?: Crab .
Ocean or Sky?: Sky .
Beach or Park?: Both .
Dog or Cat?: Skip .
Dark Chocolate or White Chocolate?: Dark .
Light or Dark?: Dark .
Digital Camera or Camera Phone?: Digital camera . Prefably an EOS or DSLR .
Puppet or Stuffed Animal?: IDK .
Sesame Street or Barney?: SESAME STREET ! <3
Pooh or Tigger?: Tigger .
Chocolate Milk or Orange Juice?:
Chocolate Milk .
Tacos or Burritos?: Either .

Put Your Playlist On Shuffle, Click 'Next' For Every Question
Your Theme Song: Nickelback - Far Away
Your Love Life:
A Rocket To The Moon - Baby We're Invincible
What You Listen To When Your Sad:
Bullet For My Valentine - Say Goodnight
Your Wedding Song: Brokencyde ft. Scene Kidz - DAMN!
Your Funeral Song: Black Witchery - Upheavel Of Satanic Might
Your Friends: Smile Empty Soul - Loser
Every Day: AC/DC - Highway To Hell
Reason To Laugh: Weezwer - Pork and Beans
When You're Dancing:

Your Top Eight (They are mostly random)
1) Jennah
2) Danny
3) Laura
4) Nabilah
5) Masyitah
6) Yi Lin
7) Asyraf
8) Khai
Would You Kiss #1?: Been there , done that ,
Have you ever cried on #2's shoulder?: Jyeah .
If you were happy, would #3 put you down?: HA , never .
Does #4 make you laugh?: DUHH !
Would #5 stay up all night with you?: Jyeah , I think .
Do you talk to #6 often?: Almost every day !
Last time you saw #7?: Yesterday .
If #8 was crying, would you cheer him/her up?: DUH .

Questions You've Heard Before
How old are you?: 16 .
What time is it?: 7:57 pm
Your best friend's name(s)?: I can't list all .
Do you have more guy or girl friends?: GUYS .
Can you sing?: Guess so .
Do you dance?: Nahh .
Have you ever stayed up all night?: DUHH .
Have you ever slept under the stars?: Jyeah .
Do you like taking walks in the rain?: Jyeah .
Do you play an instrument?: HELL YEAH .
Are you emo/gothic/punk?: Jyeah .
What make-up do you wear on a regular basis?:
Eyeliner , mascara , lipbalm .

Have You Ever
Cut yourself?: Used to .
Spent more than eight hours on the computer at once?: Jyeah .
Played video games till the sun came up?: HELL YEAH ; GUITAR HERO !
Put your heart on the line?: Maybe .
Told someone the story of your life?: Not really .
Eaten calf brains?: UM no ?
Seen the Statue of Liberty?: Pictures ?
Swam in the ocean?: No .
Held a baby farm animal?: Think so .

More Random!
Is there anyone that knows /everything/ there is to know about you?:
I think not .
Is there something you want to say/ask someone?: Jyeah .
Can you make any odd sounds with your mouth?: HAHA SURE !
What's the last thing you said out loud?: Put all the booze there kthx .
Do you have a cat?: Nahh .
Have you ever fallen backwards on a chair?: Jyeah .
Have you ever had a movie party?: Nahh .

Favorite
Song?:
AC/DC - Highway To Hell
Band?: LOTS .
Book?: Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel
Movie?: Finding Nemo
Place?: LOTS .
Thing to do on weekends?:
Anything except for tuition .
Season?: Fall .
Day of the week?: MEEP .
Holiday?: Walpurgisnacht , thought it's not an official holiday ?
Word?: WHEAU WHEAU WHEAUUU ~

Website?: LOTS .
Sport?: Soccer ?
Instrument?: Piano , guitar && drums .

Current
What do you hear?: Thumping music .
Are you talking to anyone?: Jennah ?
Do you have a headache?: Not really .
Are you sad?: Not at the moment .
What are you worried about?: Something .
Are you bored?: Not really .
What do you intend to do after this survey?: Watch wrestling ?
How many windows do you have open?:
2
What are they?: This , PLAYLIST .
Are you logged into an instant messanger?: Jyeah , MSN .
Are you cold?: NO .
Are you drinking?: Jyeah , beer ?

About This Survey
Did you enjoy it?:
Skip .
Did it cure your boredom?: Skip .
What was your favorite question?: ._.
Would you try any of my other surveys?: Skip .
Were you multi-tasking while taking this?: Jyeah .

Before We Say Goodbye
Are you wearing jeans?: No .
Any plans for tomorrow?: I think so .
Do you want chocolate?: Not now .
Pie or Cake?: Depends .
Are your top friends all very dear to you?: ._.
Are you against gay marriage?: HELL NO .
Should George W. Bush burn in hell?: Skip .
Should I be president?:
.________________________.
Do you have a song stuck in your head?: Jyeah ,
Are you singing it now?: ;___;
Is your music library playing?: Jyeah .
Where is your mom?: Work ?
Do you have any siblings?: Jyeah .
Are you bored with this survey?: -_-'''


elected the rejected

?Was at

?Monday, July 27, 2009

I think I miss being alone ,
in my own world .
I guess ,
when I was still that nerdo looser
in the older days ,
I didn't have much to lose .
I was happy .
Actually happy .
The kind where it hurts cause I'm
just too happy to give a shit .
And I didn't have much then .
Now .
I have more .
I have what I want .
But I feel so empty inside .
I don't feel happy .
I'm destroying myself .
Self - mutilation ,
Booze ,
Cigarette ,
Starvation .
Sometimes I don't even know what I do to myself .
I stay awake at night ,
thinking of everything that went wrong .
I used to have a close friend .
A guy I trusted in .
He was unlike any of my other friends .
You know .
the kind of friend who's just THAT special
to you alone .
Then something went wrong .
Between the calls and smses and songs ,
something just changed .
And he left without saying goodbye .
Without any idea of how much I'd learnt from him .
I still see him now and then .
But it's just different .
I miss him .
But he doesn't have any idea .


elected the rejected

?Was at

?Friday, July 24, 2009

this post is available courtesy of raymie's lappy .
DIDI , DIDI .
i'm already here at PARIS * clears throat * waiting for the rest of the guys to head down here .
and i'm just chilling here with danny and raymie and fuad .
and i'm supposed to be completing my maths tuition homework !
DIDI YOU MUST FOCUS !
oh whelllllllllllllllllllllllll .
WAS IMMER !
kay the guys are here .
BYE .


elected the rejected

?Was at

?Friday, July 17, 2009

Today was a weird day .
LOL .
I was chatting with Mr Crotch Grabber online just now , and he cracked me up really bad , causing me to drop my push pop on the floor .
IT BROKE . T.T
I hope I cleaned it up okayy .
I don't want any ants to come looking for me .
LOL .
Anyway , I was talking to Laura today about the sms she sent to Jennah Syg .
" She feels more comfortatable being her emo kid in one corner in class.. But she's always observing nearly everyone.. They just dont notice it at all.. Its so hard to catch her watching your movements.. I swear she hides her eyes so well.. "
So I was kinda asking her what she meant about that .
Then we talked about the feelings we got when we looked into one another's eye .
And Masyitah said that my eyes looked scary .
LOL .
Then I asked her what she meant and apparently , she doesn't know but whenever she looks directly into my eye , a shiver runs down her spine .
WEIRD .
That's what almost everyone says about my eyes .
Nice but scary .
:P
HAHA .
I wanna post pictures today .
So here you go .
Our muker smemeks .
;DD








HAHA .
That's all folks .
See you the next time I update .
;D


elected the rejected

?Was at

?Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Tagged by: DANNY . ;D
Next to do this: Qayyum . ;D

A
- Available: Depends on how you look at it .
- Age: SIXTEEN in THREE months .
- Annoyance: 9.999/10 ? HAHA !
- Animal: UNICORNS ! ;D
B
- Beer: Socially .
- Birthday: 09101993 , translates as Nine October One Nine Nine Three .
- Best friends: They know who they are ! ;D
- Body Part on opposite sex: Eyes .
- Best feeling in the world: BEING IN LOVE ! ;D
- Been in love: * shrugs *
- Believe in Santa: NO , duh .

C
- Color: Black , Red .
- Cannabis: Nope .
- Continent to visit: * shrugs *
- Cigarettes: Yea .

D
- Day or Night: NYTES !
- Dancing in the rain: Love it .

E
- Eyes: Black - brown .
- Everyone's got: their secret sorrows that they call upon when they are alone . HAHAHA .
- Ever failed a class: Try 5 for 2009 MYE ?

F
- First thoughts waking up: " WHYY ? I was about to .. * deflates * "
- Food: <3>

G
- Greatest Fear: SKIP .
- Goals: TO CONQUER THE WORLD . * evil grin *
- Gum: Anything MINT .
- Get along with your parents? Not really .

H
- Hair Color: Naturally brown - black .
- Height: 142.8 cm .
- Happy: More like HYPER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Holiday: * meep *

I
- Ice Cream: Anything with mint , chocolate and nuts .
- Instrument: Guitar , piano , learning drums .

J
- Jewelry: Gummy bracelets ?
- Job: Student . DUH ._.

K
- Kids: I don't have any ?
- Kickboxing or karate: Muay Thai .
- Keep a journal: Does a blog count ?

L
- Love: A certain someone ?
- Letter: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ .
- Laughed so hard till you cried: ROFLMAO .

M
- Movies: Anything .
- McD’s or BK: McDee !
- Number: 69 . LOL . No laa . It's 9 . NINE .
- Name: Mardhiyah . Di . Short One .

O
- One wish: I want him to know that no matter what , I will love him .

P
- Perfect Pizza: Chikinhamanchovies with LOTSA CHEESE . ALL KINDS OF CHEESE .
- Pepsi/Coke: Coke .

Q
- Quail: * confused face * As in the quail egg or the birdie or what ?

R
- Reason to cry: EMOSHIT LA .
- Reality T.V.: Uhm , SKIP .
- Radio Station: Symphony 92 . 4 . ;D
- Roll your tongue in a circle: * live demonstration *
- Ring size: Tiny laa .

S
- Songs: A LOTT . From old - school metal to death metal to indie to emo to screamo to crunkcore to rapcore to grunge to psychedelic to guitar solos . ;DD
- Shoe size: 3 . Or 33 . IDK which one you want .
- Salad Dressing: MAYONNAISE && THOUSAND ISLAND .
- Sushi: Can't live without it .
- Skinny dipped?: Yerps .
- In the shower: Green Sunsilk Shampoo && Yellow Sunsilk conditioner && Johnson's Kids 2in1 Blueberry Shampoo Conditioner && Lux Silky Liquid Soap thingy .
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries .

T
- Tattoos: SKIP .
- Time for bed: I choose 'em .
- Thunderstorms: Love the rain , hate the thunder .

U
- Unpredictable: Think so ?

V
- Virginity: Ya ?

W
- Weakness: Getting tickled .
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: LAURA WEE ._.
- Who makes you laugh the most: DANNY !
- Worst feeling: Being unappreciated .
- Wanted to be a model: Nope .
- Worst Weather: ??

X
- X-Rays: No .

Y
- Year it is now: 2009 .

Z
- Zoo animal: superflythingyunicornelephanto !

LAST PERSON WHO…
1. Slept in a bed beside you? Nenek ?
2. You went to the mall with? Jennah .
3. You went to dinner with? Jennah , Danny .
4. You talked to on the phone? Jennah .
5. Made you laugh? Danny .
6. Hugged you? Jennah .
7. Said they loved you? HAHA . * meep *
8. Held your hand? Raymie . LOL .
9. You spoke with? Raymie .
10. You cried over? * scrunches face * I don't wanna mention his name .


elected the rejected

?Was at

?Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I know I haven't been updating due to a multitude of excuses too pathetic to be considered , so I'll try to do it today , while having a conversation with Qayyum .
;D

SO .
1ONE ;
I GOT A STALKER .
Wokay 'nuff said .

2TWO;
I applied for DPA .
ONE ; NYP - Psychology & Community Services
TWO ; TP - Communication & Media Management
THREE ; TP - Psychology Studies

3THREE ;
SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS .

KTHX .


elected the rejected

?Was at