?confessions of an emokid [:
?STUDIO

I'M AN EMOKID. PEOPLE HATE ME.
? EITHER LOVE ME OR HATE ME ?.
? WILL YOU BE THE NEXT ONE TO HATE ME ?

?EMOKIDDO

My name is DIDI. Or you can call me Mardhiyah.
I'm currently 16 [2009] and I'm still as short as ever.
I'm currently in love with my darling guitar, eventhough it's not a Goth Thunderbird.
Status: SINGLE / ATTACHED

?CRAVES
& ESP KH-2 Vintage [ESP SIGNATURE SERIES: KIRK HAMMETT]
& Miss Sixty Rock Muse EDP
& Anything from the MCR Store
& Contact Lenses
& Plaid Skinnies
& At least C6 for Maths
& FLAMETHROWERR
& A new notebook

?LOVES
& JAVA CHIP FRAPPE
& The ASS&&CO gang
- Nabilah!
- Masyitah!
- Laura!
& My band [:
& Budak Slackers
& Sushi [:
& HIM

?DETESTS
& COCKROACHES && SPIDERS
& I hate the feeling that I've been screwed over.

?TUNEIN


MusicPlaylist
MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com

?HEARSAYS

?PLURKY
?Saturday, January 31, 2009

I.
AM.
CRAZY.
Seriously.
I think my mum agreed to me rebonding my hair since I've benn pestering her about it,
so that takes care of that.
So then I told her that I wanted to perm my hair after the OLevels,
but I told her that my FRINGE would be kept straight.
Then I remebered how I wanted my mohawk / fauxhawk.
So far I've been looking for pictures of hawks and fauxes,
but they have all been CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP.
So HELP ME.
I want links to pictures or pictures of fauxhawks.
Okay?
Just keep in mind something.
SCHOOL RULES AND MRS LEE.
I still remember how she said my hair UGLY when I had emo hair and cut the back super-short to spiky perfection.
So jyeah.
ORRRRRRR just help me choose my next hair.
xD

1! Messy Perfection


2! Hawk Perfection


3! "It reminds me of Frankie" Perfection


4! My Old Emo Hair Perfection


Iknowiknow.
But help if you can okay?
If anyone even reads this.
:X

MUDDY!


elected the rejected

?Was at

?Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Coffee at 5am = guaranteed high at school = dead at home.
bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeargh.
*drops dead*
I can't believe I got 39cm for Sit&Reach.
WHEE~
Haha.
My arms are looooong for a small person.
And I can stretch far.
And yeah,
I love my new face cream thingy.
It makes my face suuuuper soft and makes me look like I'm wearing foundation.
When I'm not.
MUAHAHA.
And though it looks kinda weird,
WHATEVERR.
xP
And I lost weight after 3 weeks!
Yay!
*huge round of applause*
And my mum's grumbling because now my size SSS Renoma boxers are too loose for me.
JYEAH!
I love Renoma boxers,
they are the COMMMMMMMMMMMMFIEST boxers in the whole universe.
But now they hang precariously on my hips.
I'm not kidding.
If you get to pull them down they'll go like, PHOOSH.
And you'll see censored stuff.
HAHA!
And I'm chatting to NAZRI! now.
He is so sweet.
Haha.
He is like the abang I never had.
I know I'm crapping,
but I have to keep my spirits up somehow.
UGH.
Talk about a bad coffee hangover.
Okay.
Now I'm off to fine-tune my editing skills.
So see ya sometime soon (:

MUDDY (:


elected the rejected

?Was at

?Monday, January 26, 2009

After complaining about how the *cough*photoshop crack*cough* was going loco on me,
I finally decided to employ the damned photostudio 5.5,
and I am having a blast editing my pictures.
[though i can't edit some pimples out, sadly]
But anyway, I'm glaad I could finally use it to edit stuff.
BWAHAHA.
So I'm gonna edit that picture and make me look less like a car crash accident victim.
And edit those pictures and they'll be on their way to FRIENDSTERR.
*applause*
Just remind me to upload them kayyyyyy?
xDDD
*grins with all teeth as instructed by Frankie*


elected the rejected

?Was at

?Friday, January 23, 2009

So it was always my fault to start with.
Are you kidding me?

They all know I would never do such a thing.

But no one believes what you say anymore.

So you can blame it all on me for trying to help,

trying to fix everything for you.

At least I know I'm appreciated for trying to help,

although not in a positive way.

But thanks for telling me that.

So at least I know.

And I'll just look on as you slowly break,

And I'll think,

I tried to tell you but you didn't want to listen.

[ DIDI COPYRIGHTED. ]



I'm SICK.
Again.
It's the damned germs floating around HAZWAN's table.
Everytime I sit there I will get FLUU.
And I have so much to spill.
But I can't.
I swore to secrecy.
And my policy now is,
"Everything that comes in, doesn't go out."
All the crap, lies and things people tell me.
Call me weird but,
I really appreciate and respect the importance of sealed lips now.
But I don't understand the breach of trust.
I mean,
if someone spills something to you,
it means that he/ she/ it is trusting you not to tell anyone.
So why do people still spill the stuff you tell them sometime?
I don't trust anyone anymore.
I'm sorry.


elected the rejected

?Was at

?Monday, January 19, 2009

I am so sleepy.
And this frigging bus is so COOLD.
Damn you khairil.
For making me bring my guitar tomorrow.
xP
Then I have to go all the way to AMK to get my guitar from Fiddy.
Nabeh la you Winnie.
My guitar travel from Woodlands to Pasir Ris to Woodlands to AMK.
[ Winnie to Danny to Winnie to Fiddy. ]
THE FU***K.
You think my baby very nice to pass around is it?


elected the rejected

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?Thursday, January 15, 2009

Glass breaks.
Glass breaks because it is fragile.
A heart breaks.
A heart gets broken because it is fragile.
So why do you blame the heart for breaking?
Why do you blame me?
Just what did I do?

I just don't want to live like this anymore.
The pain.
The anger.
It's killing me.
I know.
I can sense that.
I've kept it all in for too long.
I'm going to burst open soon.
I can feel it.
I know.
I know what's causing all the pain and the sleepless nights.
Yet everyday,
I fake a smile.
And go out of my way to help others with their personal problems.
And general stuff.
I don't let my sadness show.
Not even at home.
The only time I can truly be myself is when I'm out alone,
walking in the park and blasting my music.
The tears don't fall anymore.
I've forgotten how to cry.
I've forgotten how to cry.
How can it be possible?
I've learnt how to bleed.
I've learnt how bleeding takes away the pain.
I've learnt how to die inside,
but seem very alive outside.
I've learnt how to wince inside,
but laugh along with everyone outside.
I want this pain to go away.
I want this anger to be washed away by the sea.
I never wanted to die like this.
I never wanted to be this way.
But I know no one will truly understand the conflicting emotions.
That's why whenever someone comes to me with their problems,
I never turn them down.
Because I know how they feel.
But no one truly understands me.
Not even you, bagabyagakugutegersagayagang.
I'm sorry.


elected the rejected

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?Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Random Survey Thingy For Bored People Like Me.
[And if you noticed, they are 3 different survey thingys.]

Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize?
- NO. And I'm not expecting the person to apologize anytime soon.
Are you in a good mood right now?
- NO.
The phone rings what do you say?
- Now what do you want?
Plans for tomorrow?
- Slack.
What's wrong with you right now?
- Seriously, if you people don't shut up about me, the sound of the guitar obliterating your sjull would be heard next.
Are you mean?
- Define mean.
Who was your last text message from?
- Asyraf xD
Where were you at 2:02 pm?
- At school?
Are you excited about anything?
- Um. Not really.
Do you enjoy life?
- I don't know.
Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
- Jyeah. 4 years. Long enough for you?
Do you hate the last boy/girl you were talking to?
- Not really.
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
- Khairyl xDD
Who was on your mind mostly today?
- Ville Valo. I was thinking about HIM songs.
How many kids do you want to have?
- 2. One boy, one girl.
Do you wear a ring on your finger?
-) Depends on my mood. Usually, no.
Where are you right now?
-) The master bedroom.
What are you doing?
-) Completing this survey? DUHH ._.
Who was your last text message from?
-) FAHRIN ((((((((((((((:
Do you miss anyone right now?
-) Yeah.
Do you like the song I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry?
-) Somewhat yeah.
Do you listen to your friend's advice when they give it to you?
-) Depends on the advice-giver.
What's the last kind of soup you ate?
-) Campbell Mushroom Soup.
Would you ever get back with an ex?
-) Depends.
Currently have a sunburn?
-) Nahhs.
Could you eat nothing but grilled cheese for a week straight?
-) Jyeah. I love cheese (:
Who is the last person you hung out with?
-) KHAIRYL XDDDD
Have your parents told you that you couldn't hang out with a certain person?
-) Jyeah. But DILLIGAD?
Would you rather shave your head or dye your hair bright orange?
-) I'd have a mohawk, please. And wacky dyed hair anytime.
Could you last an hour without talking?
-) Jyeah.
When is the next time you'll talk to the person you like or love?
-) Just talked to him just now on the phone.
FAHRINNNNNNNN.
What are you listening to right now?
-) Watch Me Bleed - Scary Kids Scaring Kids
Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
-) No. It looks.. Cheapo. But septum maybe?
Have any interesting conversations lately?
-) JYEAH. A really inspiring one.
What are some lyrics from the song your listening to?
-) I gave you everything to die with a smile
all you wanted was to live for a while
you took everything but it left you empty
you can't replace me, you can't.
Did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl?
-) JYEAH. AARON. Wasted 4 damn years.
Has anyone hurt or betrayed you recently?
-) YES.
Do you enjoy life?
-) Not really, not right now.
Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a w?
-) Yeah. It was his nickname though. But it was "W".
What do you do on the weekends?
-) Go to tuition, chiong homework.
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
-) FAHRINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
-) Mine, DUH ._.
Who was the last one you held hands with?
-) Why you so kaypoh ar?
Do you like to cuddle?
-) Depends on what/who.
What are your plans for the next weekend?
-) Hrm..
What color shirt are you wearing?
-) White.
Have you spoken to your mother today?
-) DUH ._.
When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
-) Just now just yelled at him.
Where were you an hour ago?
-) In my room .
Do you have any tattoo/ piercings?
-) Ear piercing only.. Tattoo I had to peel it when it was scabbing because my mum found out. Told her it was drawn on with permanent marker though. SHASH. Don't tell anyone.
How's your heart lately? Who is it frm?
-) As emo as usual. Harh? Whassat?
What is the most unique thing about you?
` I'm short and no one lets me forget that.
Has anyone ever asked you if you were retarded?
` I think so.
Who was the last person you were in a fight with?
` XXXXX. Figure it out yourself.
Where do you spend the majority of your time?
` School.
How many texts have you sent/received today?
` A lot. At least 50.
Are you hated or a hater?
` Both a hater and hated.
How tall are you?
` 143cm. T.T
Who has been the most influential person in your life?
` Currently.. Hrm.. Asyraf? Ahhahas.
What song are you totally sick of?
' Hrm.. Not too sure.
Who are you totally sick of?
` XXXXXXX XXXXXX and XXXXX. I think most prolly Asyraf and Laura know who exactly.
If you could buy anything, what would it be?
` I have a very long list of stuff I want. But it's a tie between everything at the MCR ONLINE STORE and all the caffeine products at THINKGEEK.
Who do you spend the most time with?
` Well..
Favorite sports team?
` Not really into sports. But count me in for boxing and wrestling.
Who do you work for?
` Myself. My band.
What do you do there?
` Jam.
What is your favorite club/bar?
` Even if have I cannot go. UNDERAGE )):
How do you deal with stupid people?
` Ignore them. But the most desirable course of action would of course to be cacking their skulls open with my baby.
[read: guitar]
What song do you HAVE to hear there?
` What do you mean there?
Do people take advantage of you?
` They try to.
What show on TV do you always turn off?
` I don't really watch teevee in the first place.
What cell phone are you dying to have?
` My current one. Just change the camera to a 2mp one and I'll love you.
Who was the first boy/girl you fell in love with?
` P2. Danish Bazil Lim.
Why do you take these surveys?
` Because.. You are a fucking idiot. PFFT.
Who do you really miss?
` Just that idiot.
Besides your drivers instructor, who taught you to drive?
` I'm underage and secondly, what crappy english is that?
Do you wish you could be a kid again?
` Yeah.
Everyone has a crazy aunt or uncle, tell me about yours:
` Too mcuh to spill. Nyuk-nyuk.
What causes you the most stress?
` XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
If you only had 100.00 in your wallet, what would you spend it on?
` Khairil's skateboard, if he is still selling his. If not.. Purpose For The Pain by Renee Yohe and new notebooks?
Would you consider yourself sarcastic?
` Yeah. I fucking am.
*sneers*
Tell me about the best job you ever had?
` I totally saw this sentence as.. Nevermind.
Do you lick your plate when you're finished eating?
` Yeah. Totally unglam :X
Who has disappointed you most in your life?
` XXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
What is your favorite board game?
` Hrm..
Do you get mad if you lose?
` Hrm.. Not really, I guess..
Who is someone that can push your buttons the most?
` THERE'S THIS 1 PERSON.
Could you live without cheese?
` Not really.
Who is the best cook you know?
` Nenek?
If you could eliminate one word from the english vocabulary, what would it be?
` Let me think first and I'll tell you when I decide.
Is there anything you think is over rated?
` Why do you have to know?
Are you at work right now?
` Nope.
What is the last surprise you got?
` "wxe" appearing at my block.

Jyeah this is shit I know.
I'm just bored so don't say anything if you have NOTHING NICE TO SAY.


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