?confessions of an emokid [:
?STUDIO

I'M AN EMOKID. PEOPLE HATE ME.
? EITHER LOVE ME OR HATE ME ?.
? WILL YOU BE THE NEXT ONE TO HATE ME ?

?EMOKIDDO

My name is DIDI. Or you can call me Mardhiyah.
I'm currently 16 [2009] and I'm still as short as ever.
I'm currently in love with my darling guitar, eventhough it's not a Goth Thunderbird.
Status: SINGLE / ATTACHED

?CRAVES
& ESP KH-2 Vintage [ESP SIGNATURE SERIES: KIRK HAMMETT]
& Miss Sixty Rock Muse EDP
& Anything from the MCR Store
& Contact Lenses
& Plaid Skinnies
& At least C6 for Maths
& FLAMETHROWERR
& A new notebook

?LOVES
& JAVA CHIP FRAPPE
& The ASS&&CO gang
- Nabilah!
- Masyitah!
- Laura!
& My band [:
& Budak Slackers
& Sushi [:
& HIM

?DETESTS
& COCKROACHES && SPIDERS
& I hate the feeling that I've been screwed over.

?TUNEIN


MusicPlaylist
MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com

?HEARSAYS

?PLURKY
MY LINKS
YMy Friendster
YMy Facebook
FRIENDS/
CLASSY-MATES
YAzri
YShazrin
YSyairah
YYi Lin
YFadillah
YKhairil
YKenneth
YRahmat
YLaura
YJang Yuan JY
YQayyum
CLASS BLOGS
Y2e2'07 Blog
YE2 FOREVER
I'VE LOST ALL MY LINKS SO PLEASE ASK ME TO LINK IF I HAVE NOT DONE SO.

?SOYESTERDAY
October 2006
 November 2006
 December 2006
 January 2007
 February 2007
 March 2007
 May 2007
 June 2007
 July 2007
 August 2007
 September 2007
 October 2007
 November 2007
 December 2007
 January 2008
 March 2008
 April 2008
 June 2008
 July 2008
 August 2008
 September 2008
 October 2008
 November 2008
 December 2008
 January 2009
 February 2009
 March 2009
 April 2009
 May 2009
 June 2009
 July 2009
 August 2009
 September 2009

?CREDITS
Designed by magiclullaby
Image Deviantart
 Brushes Adobe Photoshop


!


?Wednesday, November 26, 2008

An msn conversation with laura about my freaky dream.
[A certain name is xx'ed out. Only within me and laura for now.]
Sorry for the long post,
but can someone PLEASE help me?
I'm not getting a good feeling about this dream.


DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
i had a seriously weird dream last night.
it's kinda bugging me.
laura [: says:
what dream?
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
okies.
here goes.
laura [: says:
ok
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
I remember walking home from school when suddenly xx appeared. Then suddenly the scene changed to at this skate park I have never ever seen in Singapore. Then he started yelling at me, like he was trying to tell me something or trying to warn me about something.
laura [: says:
oh?
ok then?
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
But suddenly I went deaf and couldn't hear anything. Then I was riding this skateboard and I could still see he was yelling and I crashed into a huge ramp and woke up.
ARGH!
WTH does it mean?
laura [: says:
idk..
something is bugging u at the back of ur mind..
dreams occur due to well.. thoughts that u supress during the day.. subconsciously..
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
augh.
laura [: says:
so yeah..
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
it's kinda bugging me.
laura [: says:
hokay..
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
idk why.
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
sigh.
the thing is, i'm wondering why the hell is it xx, and what was he trying to tell me?
laura [: says:
ok. first, describe his expression..
when he was yelling at u for some reason..
next, tell me if u were on the skates skating, did u fall at all?
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
his face. he looked very anxoius and the way his mouth moved, it's like very urgent stuff. then he was like super flustered. i think there was a hint of terror in his eyes.
skating. i was unstable but i didn't fall. it was like my legs were nailed to the board.
laura [: says:
ohh.. okay... i think it shows he kinda warning u and he cares for u..
possibly, immenient danger or sorts..
spelling..
hmm.. u not falling, though in life, u often fall like nobody business right?
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
yeapps.
laura [: says:
ok..
maybe.. u are stable but mostly unstable..
someone is controlling the skates or what so that u are not falling..
so kinda like.. this person who is controlling u.. is bad and dangerous and xx knows so he is warning u about it?
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
sounds like what the old xx might do.
*melts*
but i don't think he cares now.
laura [: says:
u never know..
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
i know.
but.
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
i remember something.
that ramp i crashed into,it didn't look like an ordinary ramp.
laura [: says:
why?
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
you know how ramps look like roughly right?
laura [: says:
i guess.
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
uh-huh.
but this one.
srsly something i have never seen before. and the graffiti on it.
laura [: says:
ohh.. what graffiti?
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
there was this huge eye of the anubis, i think. the egyptian symbol. then it was like staring at me.
then have 2 guns like
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
it's pointing away,
laura [: says:
ohh..
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
then have me and xxi
me and xx's initials*
laura [: says:
ok..
freaky..
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
what does it mean??
augh..
bugging me like hell.
laura [: says:
idk..
go search for those eygptians symbols then..
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
sorry
is the eye of horus
laura [: says:
nvm..
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
not anubis
laura [: says:
ohh..
horus..
laura [: says:
like that?
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
something like that
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_of_Horus
here's something like the meaning or what.
http://altreligion.about.com/library/glossary/symbols/bldefseyeofhorus.htm
but i don't really it
get it*
laura [: says:
oh..
ok..
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
The Egyptians used the eye as a funerary amulet for protection against evil and rebirth in the underworld, and decorated mummies, coffins, and tombs with it. The Book of the Dead instructs that funerary eye amulets be made out of lapis lazuli or a stone called mak. Some were gold-plated.

It was called the "all-seeing Eye." Other attributes associated with it are terror and wrath. According to some myths, the eye took on a personality of its own, swooping down out of the sky to right wrongs...
laura [: says:
ohh..
ok.. one. it may mean, death of sorts.
two. may mean something about justice..
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
augh.
MAN.
what a time to get some prophetic dream.
laura [: says:
hahs.. ok..
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
augh.
WHY this kind of dreams?
laura [: says:
idk..
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
and the guns.
no relevance
laura [: says:
killing with guns?
then the eye is for protection?
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
idk.
but it's SINGAPORE,
laura [: says:
ok..
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
where got guns nia?
laura [: says:
malaysia..
u going there..
maybe just be careful
wan shi xiao xin..
meaning, take cautions in everything u do..
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
i know.
okies.
i will.
sigh.
laura [: says:
horus is a protector..
eye of horus..
may mean good or evil..
cos it was once torn out from him then restored with magic..
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
okies.
laura [: says:
According to legend, the left eye was torn from Horus by his murderous brother Seth, and magically restored by Thoth, the God of magick. After the restoration, some stories state, Horus made a gift of the eye to Osiris, which allowed this solar deity to rule the underworld. The story of this injury is probably an allusion to the phases of the moon as the eye which is "torn out" every month.
piritually, the right eye reflects solar, masculine energy, as well as reason and mathematics. The left eye reflects fluid, feminine, lunar energy, and rules intuition and magick.
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
i think mine was right.
laura [: says:
oh..
The Eye of Horus was believed to have healing and protective power, and it was used as a protective amulet
Funerary amulets were often made in the shape of the Eye of Horus.
now those 2 statements are contradicting.. in a way..
funeral doesnt symbol too good.. but maybe is protective amulets for the dead lea..
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
okies.
true.
hrm.
laura [: says:
osrisis and isis they tgt.. then horus is their son..
osrisis god of dead..
isis is queen of something..
then horus like protector of justice of sorts..
aiya.. alot of meaning la..
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
bleargh.
okies.
no analyze dreams le.
tooo much for my brain to handle.
laura [: says:
okok..
DIDI HATRED <3 // I want a dress with a poofy skirt and new flats, please? says:
haha.

Sorry if it seems disjointed.
I remembered some things later so yeah,
just cut+pasted.
Please help (:

♥

elected the rejected

?Was at 5:58 PM

?Sunday, November 16, 2008

So yesterday was the day of the performance at RELC.
thb, those parents were pretty intimidating.
Like with their expressionless faces and blank stares.
Ugh.

Daniel's not replying me.
):
I'm gonna call him later at night.
A little too risky to call now.
Haha.
With my parents.
Hehs.
ARGH DANIEL WHERE ARE YOU?
Bleh.
*edited*
He's replied!
Ahahas..
Okies I gtg bye~

♥

elected the rejected

?Was at 6:05 PM

?Wednesday, November 12, 2008

My throat hurts,
I keep sneezing,
and I have to appetite.
Go figure.
Only about 3 more days to the BIG RELC performance.
Bleargh.
And I'm sick.
Which is baaad.
And I have to re-use my tissues.
Cause I don't have enough.
So my nose hurts and it's cold.
And my left ear is blocked.
):
[Okay it has cleared a little now xD]


Bah.
Stupid contact lenses have something against me.
They won't stick in my eye.
Just ask the people who helped me during speech day.
If not I'd totally get purple or blue ones for CC [Circus Capers].
So now I have to stick stickers on my spectacle frame.
tbh I think Mdm Sugu's a little crazy to make us stick them on before we come to school.
TF?!
I don't wanna be a kooky!
Blaah.

And me might be meeting Daniel this Sat [:
Prolly a potential bf.
Yay!

♥

elected the rejected

?Was at 7:29 PM

?Monday, November 10, 2008

I really, really hate how I melt whenever I see you.
It's like this weakness I have,
and it's PATHETIC.
I seriously should just move on and get on with it,
but time seems to freeze whenever I see you.
And those times we had together keeps on replaying like a broken tape recorder.
It's just that EVERY SINGLE THING I do reminds me of you.
And it SUCKS.
Cause remembering you hurts me.

♥

elected the rejected

?Was at 4:16 PM

?Tuesday, November 04, 2008

I used to have big dreams.
Of showing the big world that a small girl could get what she wanted too,
if she worked hard and rocked hard enough.
But now that girl's starting to see,
what sliding can do to her fingers.
But she's not giving up.
SHE'S NOT GIVING UP!

God,my left fingers ache like hell.
I have the "Warmness On The Soul" solo and the "Master Of Puppets" solo to blame for that.
Try learning both on the same day.
And then trying figuring out "Canon Rock" at the same time.
It's gonna make your fingers ache.
[Kay fine, I'm still not used to the guitar. I still don't have calluses.]
Part conversation with Laura.

DIDIRAWKRR, // Where can I find tulle? I wanna make a tutu. says:
i'm alternating between canon rock and MOP so my fingers not so stressed..
(:
laura says:
oh.. thats good then..
=)
DIDIRAWKRR, // Where can I find tulle? I wanna make a tutu. says:
wah tomorrow my left fingers will be pretty sore..
jialat..
laura says:
lucky u right handed lor..
DIDIRAWKRR, // Where can I find tulle? I wanna make a tutu. says:
haha..
yeah..
the price i hafta pay for wanting to be a rocker chick..
laura says:
yeah..
hahs
DIDIRAWKRR, // Where can I find tulle? I wanna make a tutu. says:
but it's nothing compared to the satisfaction i get tho..
but calluses suck..
but calluses mean i am a seasoned guitarist..
laura says:
oh... okay..
DIDIRAWKRR, // Where can I find tulle? I wanna make a tutu. says:
and means that it won't hurt anymore when i play..
but then it'll feel so rough..
like khai's hands..
):
but he's a rider..
so his is more rough..
but yeah..
laura says:
oh..
but u suppose to be a lady..
and lady suppose to have smooth hands..
haish..
DIDIRAWKRR, // Where can I find tulle? I wanna make a tutu. says:
hees..
yeah..
but i was never really lady-like in the first place
laura says:
yeah.. i know..
can see..

So yeah.
Guitar yay.
Calluses nay.
And I think I might have to change the strings on my acous. cause it's super sharp.
Kinda got mildly cut.
BLEARGH.
So off to MOP and Canon Rock again.
Bye~

♥

elected the rejected

?Was at 11:16 AM

?Monday, November 03, 2008

I got my new handphone and guitar xD
But I don't feel anything.
Why?
And my handphone is really irritating.
It's the W380 one,the one in purpur.
And,
it's camera is only 1 megapixel and cannot take videos.
So it's sayonara to my dear camwhore life.
I cannot take pictures of clouds and roads and flowers no more.
UGH.
And the keypad is more than enough to drive me crazy.
'Nuff said.

♥

elected the rejected

?Was at 10:14 AM